All I want for Post-Christmas/Boxing Week/New Years is an e-mail/cellphone plan

My requirements are simple:

- I need to speak on the phone

- I need to read and write e-mails

- I need to send and receive text messages

- I need to have voicemail

Ideally, I would also have:

- the ability to, very occasionally, browse the web

- the ability to read and write RTF and PDF documents

---

What's stopping me? Well, for one thing, I can't for the life of me find a plan that does what it says it does. Example: half the plans that say "data" don't include data. Half the phones are sold out.

That's it. I'm going to have to go... *sigh* ...into a store.

Awesome Courage Campaign Photo Petition

Access it HERE

Infamous prosecutor Ken Starr has filed a legal brief -- on behalf of the "Yes on 8" campaign -- to nullify the 18,000 same-sex marriages performed in California between May and November of 2008.

It's time to put a face to Ken Starr's shameful legal proceedings. To put a face to the 18,000 couples facing forcible divorce. To put a face to marriage equality. Because, gay or straight, YOU are the face of the Marriage Equality Movement.

My favourite is the one with the sign saying "If 1 John 4:16 then Mark 10:9. Q.E.D."

All the loving and long lasting couples and all their supporters make an eloquent plea against forcible divorce, which is a concept so self-indulgently sadistic that I wonder how Ken Starr or his backers can sleep at night.

Hat tip to Joe.My.God.

Best comment on PoMo EVAR

Recommendation FAIL

So y'all, I intended to use this post to introduce The Non-Adventures of Wonderella (which I am clearly still doing) but sadly there are no buttons or banners or suchlike with which to give a preview. So um, go look for yourself?

Get thee to a nunnery?

In a perfect world (perfectly lazy world, I suppose) I would not nothing but read and watch TV, and knit and cross-stitch. I have the heavily romanticized idea that this is what it would be like to be a nun.

I don't mind work, but the whole existential, making-something-of-myself deal is harshing my cross-stitch buzz.

Christmas All Over Again

Here's my favourites. Bring it, mall muzak!

"Merry Christmas Baby" - Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band

"I Saw Three Ships" - Sting

"Christmas Song" - Dave Matthews, Tim Reynolds

"Please Come Home For Christmas" - Jon Bon Jovi

"Christmas All Over Again" - Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers

"Christmas Day" - Dido

"Song for a Winter's Night" - Sarah McLachlan

"Santa Claus is Coming to Town" - The Pointer Sisters

"Ave Maria" - Pavarotti

"Happy Xmas (War Is Over)" - John And Yoko

"Mele Kalikimaka" - The Andrews Sisters, Bing Crosby, Vic Schoen

"Silver Bells" - Stevie Wonder

"Santa Baby" - Madonna

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" - Mariah Carey

"Blue Christmas" - Elvis Presley

"Feliz Navidad" - José Feliciano

"It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas" - Johnny Mathis

"(There's No Place Like) Home for the Holidays" - Perry Como

"Last Christmas" - Wham!

"Silent Night, Holy Night" - Mahalia Jackson

"Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy" - David Bowie and Bing Crosby

"Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" - Brenda Lee

"River" - Robert Downey Jr. or Sarah McLachlan

"What Christmas Means to Me" - Stevie Wonder

"Chanukah Song" - Adam Sandler

"Hey Santa" - Bowser & Blue

"Merry Fucking Christmas" - South Park

"The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting) - Nat King Cole

"Walkin' Round in Women's Underware" - Bob Rivers

"Winter Wonderland" - Eurythmics or Dolly Parton

 

"Huron Carol"

"Baby, It's Cold Outside"

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas"

"I'll Be Home for Christmas"

"It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year"

"What Child Is This?"

"Mary's Boy Child"

Phrase of the YEAR

Care of How I Met Your Mother:

LAWYERED!

For example:

Barney: [To Ted] Do you have some puritanical hang up on prostitution? Dude, it’s the world’s oldest profession.

Marshall: Do you really think that’s true?

Barney: Oh yeah, I bet even Cro-Magnons used to give cave hookers an extra fish for putting out.

Marshall: Ah ha, so the oldest profession would be fishermen. Kaboom! You’ve been lawyered!

...or...

Barney: That’s adorable Ted. You’re such a hayseed. The companionship business is the growth industry of the 21st century. You do realize that 1 out of every 8 adult women in America is a prostitute.

Marshall: Dude you just made that up.

Barney: Withdrawn.

Marshall: Lawyered!

Exciting times, people: coalition gov't for the win?

@CBC: Liberals, NDP, Bloc sign deal on proposed coalition