25 Random Bits of Misanthropy, Part I

So the “25 random things about me” meme seems to be circulating again. I’ve decided to put a bit of negative spin on it, because hey, I’m in that kind of mood. I therefore present “25 things that make me mutter obscenities under my breath”:

1. Small, shrill children, especially on the TTC
   People always laugh when I say I transferred out of teachers college ‘cause I realized I hate kids … it’s not a joke. If I’m engaging with the kid I’m fine, but if they’re in the background it’s worse than nails on a chalkboard.
2. People who stop at the very top/bottom of stairs and stand there
   I’m looking at you, 1Ls.
3. The total lack of stability on TTC vehicles
   I can only assume a perfect storm of bad roads, lousy shocks, and freakishly reckless driving, but it’s unusual for me to be on a bus these days and not think I’m going to be thrown to the ground.
4. People who lie to obscure the fact that they’re not doing their job
   Pretty much anytime I hear “But I told you to do that” or “I never told you that” I assume the speaker is lying
5. Medication where the side effect is as bad as the condition
   What the hell, people. I only want to be able to breathe through my nose, is that so much to ask?
6. Legal questions that no one understands, but no one ever resolves, like certiorari versus declaratory relief
   Thank you, authors of four different books on administrative law, for those fascinating chapters on how no one knows what which remedy is for
7. People who go out of their way to screw with an immigration application because the applicant won a court case
   I don’t know who these people are, but it says something about the world we live in when a court decision in your favour will probably lead to even more problems for you
8. Updates that freak out my computer
   What is the point of that, Microsoft?!?! How hard is it for you to patch my security without making my IE schizophrenic?
9. Technological improvements that aren’t backwards compatible
   Yay high-speed internet, boo my wireless network rejecting high-speed internet
10. USB ports at the back of a CPU
    I spend an inordinate amount of time at my office on my knees inhaling dustbunnies, reading the ports like braille
11. My office window
    It’s stuck open and has been all winter.
12. Coffee going cold immediately
    The pot seems hot, and it’s not like I use milk ice cubes, but I can barely through it back before it’s frigid, and I need the warmth (see #11)
13. My desk blotter calendar
    Mocking me with its January-ness. Because my desk hasn’t been totally clear since January, so I haven’t ripped off the old months

Part II tomorrow…